Untitled Goose Game Platinum: Goose-ness Gracious What a Finish

The year 2020 broke the Western World as we knew it (curse you, little replicating packets of RNA). Near the start of all the pandemic lockdown shizz, I was compelled to play House House‘s weird goose game (I had previously no interest in) after seeing a cool streamer on Twitch beat the game. Here’s the lowdown on how I got the Untitled Goose Game platinum trophy!

Quickie Review

For the unaware, Untitled Goose Game puts you in control of a delinquent unnamed goose in a quaint unknown town setting. The overall goal is to harass the locals as much as you can while on a quest to steal the town’s shiny golden bell. Absolutely deplorable… and shamefully fun!

Can’t say I blame the townsfolk for being anti-goose. Still, symbols of blind hate are always wrong. #NotAllGeese

For some reason, the goose has lovely hand written To Do lists you follow throughout the short game. The items usually involve doing terrible things to lightheartedly mess with innocent townsfolk.

You unlock harder (and more awful) extra items once you beat the game, including speed run challenges of the game’s 4 main areas. There is very little room for error during the 6 minute time limits so be prepared to hone those efficient jerk goose skills if you want to cross those items off the list.

Who gave these lists to the goose anyway? Is it a rogue government agent with some agenda that will be revealed in the sequel? It’s never a good idea to let my imagination run wild with low-detail stories. Oh! I should write Untitled Goose Game fanfiction.

Anyway, the controls are pretty simple (loved rocking the honk button) but I found movement a bit clunky and frustrating at times, especially when precise control was needed during the speed runs.

The Platinum Finish

Those speed runs are indeed needed for the PlayStation platinum trophy. I was worried that would be the killer to my goal, but I found super helpful videos on YouTube from players far more skilled than moi. I did add a few of my own modifications to some of their strategies.

The last challenge in the pub area was to drop a pint glass in the canal I found myself there with just under a minute left on the timer. My goose grabbed the glass and fled stealthily for the canal. To my horror, that very annoying pub patrol lady somehow saw me and started chasing me.

The humans in this game catch up to your goose really freaking quickly so I had a bad feeling it was over. Refusing to give up and channeling my inner jerk goose, I kept on running as the lady closed the gap. If she caught up to me the glass would smash and there was no time for a retry.

Mere seconds before the pursuing pub lady caught my goose, I leapt into the canal and dropped the glass mid air for the win. My goose floated there proudly as the trophies popped. The pub lady just looked down on my goose with pint glass thoughts, apparently.

Mwa honk honk honk honk!

I gave a triumphant honk and that was that. Jerk goose mission successfully accomplished. Back to the bell-hoard lair until the next game!

Sources: All images in this post are screenshots we took with the PlayStation 4 from the video game Untitled Goose Game by House House.

Moar Sarcasm

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