The Housing Crisis of Canadaland Solved!

Something that’s been weighing heavy on my mind lately is the housing crisis afflicting Canada (and most of the western world, to be honest). I won’t name names, but my local government recently had a ‘brilliant” idea to help. Instead of actually doing something like building more government housing, they are investing our tax dollars into what is essentially an Airbnb app so people can share their spare rooms.

Yep. Just guilt the peasants into sharing their spare rooms with risky strangers while the government officials keep profiting off the crisis with their own private rental properties. Totally fair and not at all a conflict of interest, right?

Anyway, pandora’s box has been opened and if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em! That’s how I feel about this whole AI thing. When I’m bored and in need of mindless entertainment, good ol’ ChatGPT and DALL-E are there to provide me with amusing stories and images based on whatever nonsense prompts my brain comes up with. This time I asked ChatGPT to create a parody story about the housing crisis. Enjoy!

ChatGPT 3.5’s Parody Story

Once upon a time in the whimsical land of Canadaland, there was a notorious politician named Sir Mortimer Moneybags. With a toothy grin and a silver tongue, he had swindled his way into power, amassing wealth through dubious means and acquiring a vast collection of luxurious properties. Yet, beneath his charming exterior, he was a man of questionable morals and outlandish ideas.

As the housing crisis reached its peak, Sir Moneybags, oblivious to the struggles of his people, decided to address the issue with his grand plan – “The Spare Room Solution!” In a dazzling press conference, he announced, “Fellow Canadalanders, fear not! I have the perfect solution to our housing crisis. I urge each and every one of you to rent out your spare rooms. Problem solved!”

The crowd stared at him, jaws dropping, and a lone cricket could be heard chirping in the distance. The idea was so preposterous that people couldn’t help but laugh. Renting out a spare room wasn’t going to magically solve a nationwide housing crisis, but Sir Moneybags, being the out-of-touch politician he was, couldn’t comprehend the absurdity of his own suggestion.

Unfazed by the laughter, Sir Moneybags continued to push his plan, even as it became the butt of every joke and meme in Canadaland. #SpareRoomSolution trended on social media, with people posting hilarious photoshopped images of Sir Moneybags trying to fit an entire housing market inside a tiny spare room.

However, the people of Canadaland had had enough. A group of brave citizens, led by a witty activist named Rosie Ridicule, decided to take matters into their own hands and expose Sir Moneybags for his corrupt ways.

They organized a “Justice Parade” where people dressed up as spare rooms, complete with cardboard walls and fluffy bedsheet curtains. They marched through the streets, chanting, “Sir Moneybags’ Spare Room Brigade!”

As the parade reached the steps of the grand parliament building, they were met with a sight that left them in disbelief. Sir Moneybags had erected a gigantic billboard of himself, grinning ear-to-ear and holding a sign that read, “Spare Rooms for All!”

Gasps echoed through the crowd as Rosie Ridicule stepped forward, armed with a megaphone and a mischievous glint in her eye. “Dear Sir Moneybags,” she announced, “while you were busy building your ego, we’ve been busy building a case against you!”

The crowd roared with applause as Rosie unveiled a mountain of evidence, detailing his shady dealings and ill-gotten wealth. The corruption was laid bare for all to see, and it was clear that Sir Moneybags’ days of deceiving the people were numbered.

As the police approached to arrest him, Sir Moneybags tried to put on a confident front, but deep down, he knew his reckoning had come. Justice had finally caught up with the corrupt politician who once believed that spare rooms could solve a housing crisis.

And so, in a poetic twist of fate, the man who owned multiple rental properties found himself behind bars, where the only spare room he’d have was the tiny cell he now called home.

The people of Canadaland rejoiced, knowing that their parody short story had become reality, and they lived happily ever after, forever cherishing the tale of Sir Mortimer Moneybags and his infamous Spare Room Solution.


So where can we find this Rosie Ridicule?? The world needs her!

Sources: Story generated by ChatGPT3.5. Images generated by DALL-E 2.

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  1. 1

    Rotten government at every level, sounds very familiar, at least we can get an AI induced laugh out of it.

    They’ve not tried to force us to rent out our spare rooms yet, but there was an extra tax introduced a few years ago if you have a spare room, cos you know the government can’t let any spare cash sit around when it could be lining their pockets instead.

    I don’t think we’ve had any what we would call social housing (government funded) built since the 1950s and since then the population has increased by nearly 20 million.

    • 2

      Urgh. Governments everywhere are really dropping the ball lately.

      Canada has 3 levels of government blaming each other publicly while profiting off it privately (far too many MPs have rental properties on the side). I think it was the 1970s the last time the government built any housing in my area. Don’t get me started on the NIMBY jerks blocking all the new housing developments and stupid zoning laws 🙄

  2. 5
    Mr. Wapojif

    Seems like a very Western thing now, every country seems to have it. Most of England has been rendered unliveable over the last decade as the housing crisis is so godawful.

    I’ve been using Google Bard for this stuff! Laughing meself stupid at some of the responses I can get from it. Google must think I’m mad now lolz.

    • 6

      Canada is about at that point now too. If my landlord ever figures out how to evict my rent-controlled butt out of this apartment I’m screwed since I can no longer afford the average market rental rate. I’m paying $720 per month now for a 1 bedroom apartment and the average in my city skyrocketed to $2,000 per month in a mere few years. Crazy.

      My city is giving people free tents, though. All the shelters are full but we’re allowed to camp in increasingly crowded city parks. Good thing it’s not winter right now. How generous!

      But yeah, my dream of being an old crone in a house full of cats is now gone. 😭

      • 7
        Mr. Wapojif

        Yup, that’s why I had to flee Manchester as the rents skyrocketed. That’s alongside the energy bill crisis, general cost of living crisis, austerity-driven low wages etc. etc…. I’m beginning to think capitalism is a bit shit and needs a revamp.

        Would you consider moving to a cheaper area? That’s what I did. Turned out ok, just minus some perks.

        If you’re still thinking of the UK you’ll need to avoid the south of England at all costs. Brain melting rents.

        You know and there’s Tears of the Kingdom and it’s 10 rupees for a bed for the night. 3,720 rupees for the year. I want to move to Hyrule.